For the past 2 months was phenomenal months to me. Why? I been watching a kdrama called 'suspicious partner'/ 'love in trouble'. I watch this kdrama because of JI CHANG WOOK. Yes him. Since this is his first romantic comedy kdrama. I was really excited to see him bringing that kind of genre. And i tell you he nailed it. He's a charismatic, good-looking and talented actor! why not right? hahaha.
Even though suspicious partner was already ended, i still can't move on yet! Help me! I keep on checking out his latest news, follow ji chang wook's fanbase and spazzing about him all day long. Crazy! i think it's just a normal fangirl like me. I love all my korean actors so it's natural.
Do you know Ji Chang Wook's co-star NAM JI HYUN? Duh.. of course! hahaha. I don't know. There is something special about her. I didn't know her until she's with ji chang wook in suspicious partner. Well... i tell you. SHE IS PRETTY, INNOCENT AND CUTE. I don't know how to describe specifically. What i know is, my heart said that i fell in love with her. I wanna be her friend. Urrr.... Everyone want to be her friends hehe.
(You guys should watch SP Behind-the-scene. Their chemistry are no jokes. I felt they're in a relationship in real life. I don't know how can they pulled off their characters so well. I know this is their jobs and they need to do well on screen. However, these #jibongcouple #jijicouple are so different. I felt strange. Aww. I wish one day there will be a dating/marriage news about them. I don't want to put too much expectation over them. Nevertheless let's keep praying one day they will be together hehe)
p.s: Jichangwook will be enlist in the army in August, 14 2017 until May 2019 😔 okey don't cry. Let's keep support him. May he be healthy and comeback for more dramas in the future.
Actually i want to give you JI CHANG WOOK vs SUSPICIOUS PARTNER desktop wallpaper. I made it myself using Canva. I hope you all will love it💗
(You guys can have it all. I love Ji Chang Wook and Suspicious Partner. Since i'm still in holiday moods so i fit my time did these instead. I'm happy whatever i did for Ji Chang Wook. Enjoy😍)
satu tahun ni inda update apa-apa post. why? penyakit M. haha. selalunya kalau kan curhat i prefer to use twitter. tapi now inda tau kenapa terpanggil lagi kan update my precious blog ni. do u know one of my wishlist is to stop blogging when i was 25 but now i'm 27! yup. i still love my blog then hehehe. berat hati kan buang. i been a blogger since in 2009. sayang jua di buang. teruskan saja menulis. atu pun kalau datang lah rajin nya atau ada something kan di ceritakan. Dari tadi browsing kan tukar template. susah haha. semua template yang lawa-lawa mesti bayar. sedikit saja yang free. template yang ani nampaknya mcm messy. i don't know what is wrong with the letters up there. sigh.
so why i want to write now. It is because i want to share about this book. so inspiring lah this woman. dia kahwin awal. (kawin muda) and a successful business woman. i want to be like her someday. ia ada butik sendiri sudah. umur berapa tahun sudah pandai buka bisnis and wow. so inspiring. now anaknya ada 3 orang sudah. i really envy with her life. Alhamdulillah. i am envy of her in a good way. of course lah di dalam lubuk hati ani ada rasa kan mau macam ia. awal atau lambat. Rezeki Allah ada di mana-mana. I always pray what good for her. such a lovely person. Anak2nya semua cute. hehe. She has a really supportive husband. I hope i will have this kind of husband who support me ups and downs. Aamiin. Overall, siuklah ikut perkembangan nya ni sama ada di ig atau blog nya. The person i'm writing about is Irine Nadia.💚
Tadaa.. i even bought and read her book. siuklah baca. you all should buy this inspiring book. Di sana perasaan kamu akan terbawa dalam hati kamu. tiba-tiba kan buat something positive in you. of course my life is not the same as her. just remember that rezeki Allah tu ada di mana-mana asal sabar dan usaha. i know irine jua merasa perit nya dalam perniagaan dan rumahtangga but she always take it in a positive way. Don't u think she is the best. yes she is. senyum-senyum membaca hahaha. I hope Irine terus berjaya, dimurahkan rezeki dan bahagia bersama keluarga nya yang tersayang. Aamin. thank you irine. you inspired me a lot. keep blogging ya.
Ignore that goblin hahaha. siuk-siuk download lupa minimise hahaha. goblin. sigh. my favourite kdrama ever. i miss it already 😔💗
Omg it's been a year in a half i haven't update this thing. Regarding of my busiest schedule as a students make me forgot to write on here. Poor blog. It's weird that i still remember that i have a blog. hahaha. so why not to update once in a while since i really got nothing to do. yaa.. it been a pressure time last year and half of this year. I got busy with my school, assignments and teaching. However, i have a super long free time now to be able updating and writing.
Beside that, i also working hard to change myself. I change mentally and psychically through all over my body. I lose weight for 20 kgs from 73kg down to 52kg now. Hahaha.. aren't that an amazing achievement? i didn't believe on myself too. If you want to know more you can just follow my instagram at @atykah_50kg ya. You will see my achievement for a year and half now. It was really feel great. I proud of this work hard and persistence through out the year. I hope it will give some inspiration to all people out there.
You just really need to #pushyourself
Ok... that a short story of my journey. i won't write that long hahaha. I just update a bit of it.
Other than this positive, fascinating, greatest, enthusiastic journey i have an opposite sad, heart-breaking, pathetic and sick of heart story to share too hahaha..
Frankly i'm saying that i knew a lot of guys.. since i got in to university. I have a crush on him, this senior, my friends and so many of them. I am such a player and i'm easily fell in love type of person. well the type of player is not about i change to this guys all over again. its just that i don't stick with only one person like every couples out there. I easily have crush on someone and i'm always the one who put the first step to tell how i feel toward the guys i like. So naive and embarrassing. Namanya suka kan. kalau sudah suka (tanpa iman dan kesabaran di dada) i will tell the person directly. I known about ten guys in total that i been contacted with. #ugggh i have not meet my soulmate yet. Mostly those guys who likes me, i'm kinda of not appreciate what they did to me. Ada yang suka. likewise. but my parents doesn't like him at all. So i have to break up the relationship. (susah kan) kalau lihat pada diri sendiri pun i'm admit that i am not that special. i'm not sure now. Mungkin Allah nampak that i still have not ready to commit all this problem yet. Masih perlu banyak belajar. Masih perlu banyak perbaiki diri in term of ibadah, iman dan segala-galanya. And now i'm single and solo. Deep and free. Hahaha.. i have a crush on someone (again?) yes. But i will manage this differently ok. Dear HR, you may not read this (i'm sure 100%) i will like you from far away and love you silently. (suka arah someone diam2 tu sakit ye hati tapi biarkan saja. who cares. if you love someone the only u can do is be patient. A magical will happen soon or late but never. kalau never that means bukan jodoh. ALLAH knows) If you'te the one may Allah will meet us in a right time (semoga jodoh) Aamin.
Hmmm kalau sudah cerita pasal jodoh, panjang lebar punya cerita hahaha. so cliche of this topic and story to share here. Curhat tak sudah.
Now i already finished my exam. I seriously got nothing to do. We have a long holiday until graduation i guess. I need to find a job! i need to do something. Daripada duduk-duduk atas katil buat benda 'unproductive' or waiting for 4.30pm to do my workout routine. hahaha. (well buat senaman dan exercise is a great thing ok) keep do it. Hari ni mesti buat. Sebab kelmarin sudah 'rest day' today and tomorrow will bad-ass day. hahaha.. ok then. thats all from me now. i will write again if i have a heart and soul to write more. It always depends on my mood.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
i wrote again. i confessed about how i felt again... i don't know the feeling when someone in love with you, never showed anything at all or its me? he never convinced his heart to love me. i don't think he even proved any of it. mungkin ani adalah ujian. sejauh mana kitani as a fergille human beings kena uji tentang hati dan perasaan. i tried my hard but i don't know is it enough? it's totally hurt. i'm kind of someone who thinks too much or being possessive or mentally worried.. its so complicated.. kadang-kadang apa yang kitani harap ia berlaku, inda sama dengan reliti atas pengharapan yang kitani fikirkan. sebab atulah kitani akan merasa sakit dan terluka. this is not a myth. this is true! never expected anything from the guy we loved will show what you want in your mind. hahahaha.. its really hurt broken. i did love him and i did thank him for everything he did to me. at least the part when he said he fell in love with me. seriously for all confession he was saying to me please la don't base it anything on lie. please showed it. please cared for me. i want that from you. convince my heart to love you back. make me happy. what you always do is break my heart. and its hurt. you almost make me cry. what is that? please....
how can i understand you, when you never understand what i really want. how? i did understand your limited space on your work. i did understand that you love your family more than i do, i did understand your complicated minds. semua tu lebih baik mengalah daripada berkelahi, merajuk, ambil hati kah. i tried my hard for being patient and understanding. tapi sampai bila? selama-lamanya? sampai kahwin? stupid. Ya Allah apakah ini semua? tapi apa yang perlu dilakukan ialah tabah menghadapi segala cobaan hati dan perasaan because we can't read people minds... we can't understand what people want more than what we understand our self. then of course help me here............................................................................
ok. this is what you should do.
I should remember this 15 ways to keep relationship working... everyday. oh yes. remember number five. when you get hurt just forgive and forget. how about number seven? ohh thats sound like me. never say it's okay even when it's not... wow! i always said it was all okay but the fact that it was not okay. i wish you can read this hahaha. but i never share my blog to him. i just let him to find it by himself. this is me. yang penting di sini i want a relationship when he loves me, he means it. when he loves me, his intention is to marry with me someday. in syaa Allah jika ada jodoh... Ya Allah bantulah hamba, satukan hati lelaki ini dengan hati hamba. semoga dipermudahkan semuanya.
hahahaha.... this is so amusing.. how can he will treat myself like a princess? i don't think so. hahahaha... i don't know...i don't have any idea about this regardless he always make me unhappy (well, not whole but most) lebih baik jadi kawan saja dulu daripada ia bagitahu hati dan perasaan nya. walaupun i want that. tapi sudah ia bagitahu segala isi hatinya. macamani plang jadi nya. awkward and hurt! the more i think about him the more i hurt.... but i do love him. i never lie what i feel toward him... my heart will go on and on...
P.S: today is his birthday. believe it or not, i still not greeting him yet. believe it or not yesterday i was waiting his text for whole night but he didn't text me back and i was like "what happened? did i do something wrong again? is he going to write a letter? believe it or not he actually online. he updated his Facebook and i was like omg! whyyyyy???? ok then i just ok.. lets forget thing and just listened to Celine Dion's song instead. malas mau fikir. until tomorrow at 8am i guess. he texted and his sorry for the late reply? and he's at the office already... bravo... i like the way you treat my heart like that. it was hurt dear you... you almost make me cry and i hate crying but you did! why? are you trying to challenge me? it was not funny! however, i still want to give him a chance. and i want him to call me tonight. kalau banyak alasan nya sampai seribu kah apa... ok its time for me to shut myself off from him for a week (hope so) hahaha... and tell him to give me some space to calm myself down. thats it. so let wait and see what is happening tonight....