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Confession of Atykah Aura
Just don't give up.


Name Atykah i'm just like a normal people who love to write. Just be nice.

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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Assalammualaikum to all my readers outside there!!~ sorry that i haven't update anything since on March is it? as usual i been really busy with my new life. I got a life that it happen to be a drastically change. As usual you knew that i love Kpop ages ago but now i keep reducing it slowly.. bla.bla.bla.bla.bla.bla. dah cakap benda yg sama at my last post hehe.. 

So i wanna share whatever things i had done today. Weee. Life has to move on even though i miss a certain person in my life.. whatever yes? Its difficult to say anyway hahaha. Tapi yg penting i felt miserable and lonely. He being tortures my heart day by day and i can't do anything with it. Oh Allah, i still or maybe like him.. ada perasaan sayang inside my littlest fragile heart. However, he's not so interested with me anymore. I had been hurt him after all. So why should i seek of his little care of his shadow if i hurt his heart. So, we should forget and forgive. You know u are lucky enough to get to know me because i never want anything from u or even revenge to u. So let's end everything. You and me ♡♡

Oh yeaahh look what i did today! It's full of fun things to do. Dady plans this for the whole weeks just because the kids which is my nephews and nieces stayed at here( our home at Tutong ). So dady set up everything... poor dady he works very hard for this. However, it was amazing thing to do. At least by these activities can reduce my anxiety and boredom at home. Hehe. I watch and download "revenge" tv series for the whole and everyday. I think i might love the series already. Before it i download pretty little liars season 3 but it not complete yet. Probably need to wait for the next episode that will air on 8th January next yr. LOL. Ok i becoming a downloader addicted :D whatever. As long as its a fun thing to do yes i do what i want to do.

My recent activities are??? ok i went to Pantai Seri Kenangan beach with my family!~ i miss all the sun, saltwater, sandcastle, seashells and woods. So i get to see all of them in the afternoon. Siuuukkk. I dun played the sands and all. Just takin picture of them. You can see. Haha. Its a funny thing i put all the firecracker everywhere... thought it was a night cracker but it's actually not. Bunga api di pagi hari kekeke.  

While that the most favourite thing that dady like to do was cooking. Dady likes to cook very much. Sanggup bawa tambak, kuali kecik, minyak etc then goreng tompi! Damn, tompi yg dady buat soooo delicious. Dad cooked wad the best... he is the best. I should learn from him tapi malas. Haha. Saya perempuan yg kdg2 pemalas. Oh yes guys i'm not that a good cook. Huhu., what kind of species i am? So kalau nak calon husband please masak kan lah untuk isteri tersayang ni ek. Huahaha. Ok just kidding :P
Theres also my niece, Mariah Maisarah and my nephew, Izz. Aren't they cute? Hehe. Actually both of them can't get along. Well kalau ada mainan yg dua orang ani suka kdg2 jadi kelahi.. Izz suka menyakat Mariah that make Mariah cried about it.. hehe kanak2 jua lah ah. Love being a kid. Nothin much to think. However today both of them behaving very well. Share that sea-saw together.. take picture together but Mariah never look at the camera. She doesn't like to pose but still she's the beautiful one ♥

Tompi and Wantan soup (cooked by dady)

Mariah Maisarah and Muhammad Izz :D

Freedom is something that i love to do. I love doing something that i like to do. I think i'm different from the other bitchy and social girls that u ever known. I love doing things by myself. Love being immature sometime. I love my phone. I love to take photos. I like to read vampire books. I am a dreamy girl. I'm a jealous-type of person. I hate a friends who i think they didn't connect with me. I smile a lot hehe :D. I don't travel much. I still can't live without my parents. If i don't like something, i stop doing it. I listen to kpop, remix, hip hop songs (i change time to time. Depends on my mood) at last month i listen to indonesian songs by kerispatih. So i plan for not listen the damn songs again. I hate it anyway. I listen all my songs by using my beats obsession. I collect bangle that i never proud about it but i still love all of them. I love pink (sucks, but who cares) i am a behind little dady girl. I love hunting all the beautiful shoes. I love money. Hahaha. Who doesn't la kan. I love gadgets. I love samsung. Well iphone i don't know la it quite expensive. Theres nothin to show off. Duh iphone? I think i go for ipray 5 times a day. I love to go to Miri and never miss to visit popular bookstore. Damn i love all those books. Ok lastly is i love this one guy but he doesn't like me. So goodbye from now.

I guess this is all for today... will write another story here :) 
Hug and kisses ♥

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♥just smile
6:17 PM

Friday, December 21, 2012

I'm back.... now what to write and share? Nothin much but i still got this little story to share.. i went to Miri for 2nd time againnn... hahaha teruk kan pergi miri banyak kali. Sorry saya lebih suka berbelanja d negeri org luar. Hahaha. I bought sooo many things like usual. I shopped bags and shoes! Yups shoes again.. and fiction vampire books. Discount like hell. I ♥ it already hehe. I bought 6 books counting. Macam2 ada.. but most of dem were blood sucking vampire. Do u see the photos guys. That books sure make u so furious what is all about yeah? Me too.. i havent start reading yet. Well maybe i will start tonight.. will pick some random vampire book later ;)

OK what else can u see? Yups do u see me there.. it's TEABOX baby!! Damn i'm the number 1 fan of teabox.. crazzyyy! (He most favourite word for this month) hehe. Di mna pergi mesti teabox dulu lah. I love pearl milk tea.. sometime i go for pearl royal tea.. yg lain i never tried because i haven't get bored with those two yet.. and never get bored it lah. Luckily teabox serve at Boulevard miri. Superb!  :D

lastly is the shirt. It was a random shirt i spot at Giant Miri. The quotes saying 'single again but with experience' it capture my eyes since i'm single and i don't talk with him anymore. Yeah stupid crisis. I dun want to remember it. He actually doesn't like me. He rude to me. But well i unrespect him first time when it involvin his stupid privacy. You're so different. That kind of species that i ever met dude.. involving the privacy is a problem to u? Duh! What are u a mysterious vampire? Urmm fyi i doesn't care with u anymore lah. Once u hurts me i will go to the flow and start forgetting u even its hard to do. Urmm i will make it easy. Its not my problem anymore. Hehe. Nmpak sgt kan hati cepat berubah? Yups.. this is me! You make me like this lah dude. Time tells now that we will not spoken like we used to do... see Allah granted my wish. So goodbye my little friend. Sorry for hurting u so much. I wrote what i feel now. If u read this. Hancur musnah hati ini kerana mu. Should i write your name? Ohh you're the mysterious vampire. Since u been friend i never get anythin from u even i confessed that i like u. Once u said to me 'just keep the like goin, but don't hope too much' hoho... i hope too much from u lah but now it's completely gone. Better late than never ;)

Ok thats all from me yah? hopefully you guys will enjoy mine. Wait for my next story....

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♥just smile
9:11 PM

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

my obsession never stop when i'm shop. Hehe. I usually not interested with bag and shoes but now i feel i'm the one who get to stick all those stuff. Well especially SHOES!! i just picked some random beautiful shoes where theres my size on it. I got a huge feet. Alhamdulillah. Miri had sale like crazy!!! if i got rm 800 for one shopping complex i think i maybe able to buy 4 new bags. Hahaha that beyond crazy and stupid lol xD wait the money all by myself weeeee~~ :D

Oh yes look at that i got a new beats. Wow its cheaper than i expected. Can i said crazy? Hahaha. Crazyyy! I bought 2 beats right away. I'm a big fan of beats ♥ sooooo i bought it for my ownself. I picked my favourite colour... as always~~ pink!

You also can see a new gtab casing yes? The oldest one that my dad bought me still okay and looks nice. But i still love pink instead of purple. I saw pink and i bought for only rm 65...  ok apa ^^~

I think that was the only stories that i wanna share. Actually i'm not in a good mood just because a mistake that i have done. So i don't wanna to pampered this feeling over all those matter. I think he will be my bad memories in the future. Ouch! Entah lah. Privacy is all matter on him. So i shall respect what he needs and wants.. i took all the blame and make myself stupid in front of him. Yay!

The end....


♥just smile
8:59 AM

Sunday, December 16, 2012

this is awkward hahaha.. i been left for not updating my blog is something that i missed in this world. I miss writing, i miss updating this blog and i even missed my chatbox. so okay how are u? how are u my readers? where is my big fans? i'm back! but in a different person i guess. i may be not updating about kim hyun joong anymore or kpop. hahaha surprised! now i will write something that i never even across in my mind before. i will confess more about what i feel and what i do everyday life. its sucks. i been in this life for more than 22 years and theres nothin interesting that come out whats the best for me. YET! what i know is i been heart broken like so many time just because i desperate for a new life with a new people. Bukan sebab apa tapi apa salahnya buat sesuatu yang boleh cipta satu memori yang tak akan pernah dilupakan. however, ada satu lah.. the reason why i didn't write anything in this blog because i been accepted to further my study at somewhere. You don't have to know what somewhere stands for. haha. internet is worldwide. many people will find out eventually. and i don't think you want it to be in trouble. As far as i can tell you its a religious university. huhu. Alhamdulillah it's beyond imagine what i'm thinking. so i will do my best for this second chance opportunities. Insyaa Allah will do as much as i can to change my life 5 years from now :)

ok. back to reality topic.i been heart broken by two guys so far. hahaha. tapi yang mulakan dulu semuanya ialah saya sendiri. karma! entah lah ah... and now i want to write about him! only that guy. yg seorang tu no need lah since i don't have the feeling towards him anymore. ok he is someone that i can rely on. he is very kind and cared? is it? i knew him from our kupusb page. i was at this place where i can have a free wireless. i'm with my friends, hanging out there. research for our assignments topic. so no wonder wireless is needed in this case. masa boring-boring tu kan i check at this group where many mahasiswa dan mahahasiswi kupusb are there. scroll over it so many times sampai ke bawah. kan di sana u can find 'member of this page' right? suddenly i found his facebook! my first reaction was like 'wow, who is this guy?' i can't help myself to click his facebook right away. And i click it with no doubt at all! it's funny when i stared a minute just to get to see and read all his information. of course if u want to know him better u need to add him as a friend kan? mula-mula ego and i said to myself "i don't have to add him. nanti dia dah ada yang punye" so i just leave it for awhile hehehe.. surprisingly in the between of our time at 11pm i guess hati ni kuat dah tersangkut nak kenal that guy. really! so saya ambil keputusan add him as a friend...

15 minutes after that....

he approves my request! waaah happy lah. i read all his status malam tu sebelum tidur. i even like his status. jiwang but nice.

tomorrow, on saturday (i still remember this)

On 3pm, i was at class while waiting for our kokurikulum subject.I talked with my friend about him (only her) that i want to be friend with him. i think i'm ready u know. so i played this jokes and wrote at his inbox "Assalammualaikum, boleh kenalan?" masa tu belum send lagi. it was full bewildered expression either i want to send it or not. nervous lah. Astonishingly  my friend took the phone from my hand. i thought she wants to read what i wrote but when i want to take it back and i saw that she sends the message already! i was screaming like hell.. and shouting her name! why she did this to me? i am not ready yet... crazy! hahahaha. tapi dalam hati cakap "will see how" suka lah tu. wah i like that guy so much that i got the nerve to do that by the help( is it) of my friend unporposely. and i wait.. wait till the night was come.. he replied mine. walaupun masa malam atu was a bit lunatic because i been so lunatic waiting for his response. that was the first moment when i knew that he is a really nice guy. i miss those moment. tapikan it's so hard lah masatu menunggu semua balasannya. As you know it's was a ridiculous moment ever. kalau ia balas happy macam apa. oh it was embarrassing. Adalah lagi yang memalukan when i'm too formal with him. b'kita-kita ani wah! apa kes? entah lah. i don't want to remember it either. Until i got the courage to get his phone number. hmm why is it everything on me first? pity right. Baguslah he gaves his number to me.  At least we can contact via phone that u called 'whatsapp' nowadays. Ia ada bagitahu line nya 2g.. kadang2 lambat masuk mesej atu. signal slow.. ok... huhu.

next, all conversation started at whatsapp. we usually texting every night. i guess malam atu mungkin signal nya laju and memuaskan. we talked and talked.. he even told me and share some stories at me. good memories. i miss that moment so much :)

On 23rd October 2012 ( i officially met him during the graduation day) not to forget this senior graduated this year. yup! sedih lah. when he first told me on the text that he graduated  i feel not surprise but just impressive? entah for once more again. no idea! mungkin thinking like 'alaah inda dapat jumpa ia lagi di kupusb' macamatu kali.. more like disappointed? iakah? hehe.okay masatu i look fat with that baju kurung rasmi kupusb haha. i brought my LUMIX camera thinking to take a photos of my friends only. Lain plang kejadiannya.. Adalah this senior asking me 'ada pas mengambarkah?' masatu bengang habis. i thought i can took photos whenever i want. Its only i was so excited to take photos of our His Majesty later. So i said "No" and she asked me again "gambar untuk apani? kupusb or persendirian?" so i said "kupusb" hahahaha rasakan mengambar dan berjumpa dengan senior tu. the one i whatsapp with him everyday. It's such a relieve that kakak senior tu brought me to take the pas. so i can took photos anything i want. I asked kakak senior "ka, boleh gambar lelaki2 yg graduate kah?" and kaka said "sure boleh" and she brought me to them. Masatu i was so nervous because ramai lelaki. Inda biasa menghadapi benda macamani. Still, i look cool to myself. Ambil gambar candid. Until i saw him for the first time in my whole life! Jauh plang kami berdua masatu. He sat there with his friends and i was stand there. Thanks to my camera. Awesome zoom in and out. So i called his name. He looked at me and smile.i wave to him and i gave this sign. kira 'lihat sini, ambil gambar ramai2' and he understand what i mean.i really want to know what is his reaction masatuah? is he surprised? or is he thinking like 'oh ani kah this girl?' hehe... After the show over, yeah sesi gambar dan berjumpa kawan2. saying congratulations and everything. Do u think i met him? who said yes? or no?

It's a YES! :)

That time was the help by kaka gg yg tersayang. I asked kaka to call his name out. so she called his fulled name out loud. Hehehe.. Aaaah mcam kan berjumpa artis saja ee. Hanya Allah saja yang tahu betapa nervous nye saya. Kaka lagi cakap 'ada yang kan jumpa' sound like that. And i said "ambil gambar?" ughh stupid! and he said "di mana?" iakah ia cakap macamatu. i forgot. And i took photo of him, his graduate certificate. Alhamdulillah. Good result :) The most embarrassing part was when i took photo together with him. hmmm i wonder why i did that? sekali lagi 'hanya ALLAH saja yang tahu' i'm not ready yet! macam bergambar sama artis. i'm not even smiling on both of the photos! N E R V O U S! if i'm not mistaken my last request to him was 'rajin2 balas whatsapp ah' hehe.. oh dammint! why am i saying that? :3 So what happened after we met? are we still contacting with each other?

YUPS! even though i talked and whatsapp him first :"(

TRAGICALLY UNTIL NOW.. OPPS CAPS LOCK! yes until now. I even confessed to him that 'i like him' his reaction is nothing to describe. He actually a good person. Maybe thats why i like him. thats why i have the guts to say to him. kalau boleh face to face is better. right? kan menyunting hatinya? hehehe.. so this is my story. this is just a beginning.

"If someday you read this. i just wanna tell u. i still like u no matter what it is. please don't torture my heart. it's hurt. you been hurting me even we don't have this special kind of relationship. you always make me to like you everyday. i always try to avoid u, but i cried myself. thank you for all the stories that u share to me. About the most shocking story u told me for your future jodoh tu "i am sincerely aching and afraid of losing you" Over all, thank you for being a nice person to me. i am happy  with you but sometimes it's hurt. can you just stop thinking about your ex-girlfriend? walaupun pernah disakiti tapi bolehkah percaya suatu hari nanti ada seseorang yang lebih menyanyangimu? do not give up. If only u know, i am always in your heart."

ignore this photo.. hahaha =)

Wow.. i'm tired. ok . That's all from me now. Thank you for reading this. I love you to all who put their time to read this. I only want to write what i feel so this is it. I will come back again, Insyaa Allah..


♥just smile
10:30 PM